Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I could make wine with my vomit
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
