You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i will never coherently bang her
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
