she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
