Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
