He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
