Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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