who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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