im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
