And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
