Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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