someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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