An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
