The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
