I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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