It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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