I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
