Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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