bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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