Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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