I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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