I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
