I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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