Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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