But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
