I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
