How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
