Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
