WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
