I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
