I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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