this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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