his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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