hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
