first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
