Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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