i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize