He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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