I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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