also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
