Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
