last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize