We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
