they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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