just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
