The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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