Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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