He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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