I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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