I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
they're like a gay fantastic four
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize