Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
