I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
