I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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