Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
