Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
