I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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