just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
