Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
