I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
