The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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