i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
