Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize