the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
